Dating my husband while separated

We shared childcare, chores, meals — but in the past five years we became very distant.

About seven months ago, I discovered he’d been sleeping with a woman he’d met at the pub. We tried again but I discovered this twice-married, needy woman was still in touch — although he denied it. I couldn’t trust him, so I kept checking up on him, and my elder daughter said she can’t live in such an atmosphere.

Others enjoy a little light flirtation with their gardener or postman, or feign ignorance about how the car acquired that nasty dent. ’ I reply sweetly ‘Sorry darling, haven’t seen it for a while,’ knowing full well that the item in question is probably sitting at the bottom of a recycling bin.

My own guilty habit is this: when my husband Guy is out of the house, I sneak upstairs to his wardrobe, find the item of clothing I dislike the most, and bury it in the dustbin. There are a few survivors — a green denim shirt, a pair of salmon pink trousers and a hideous tan suede waistcoat bought in Bavaria.

I’m biding my time to shuffle those into the recycling bin.And most of them are quite happy for her to do so, admitting that they lack the confidence and taste to dress well. They are probably those deluded men who wear long baggy shorts and tight T-shirts well into their 40s, clinging defiantly to their youth.Or embrace middle-age too enthusiastically by wearing orangey-brown suede jackets with sky-blue denim.And realise life is glorious, and that you have no business taking it for granted.I met my husband aged 15 (he was 17) — the only man I’ve ever slept with.

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But in 2002 we had a daughter, and another four years later.

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